Dear Shazaad
This letter is written in the hope that it a guide rather than an admonishment of any sort, and comes with an insight only gleaned by having survived the turmoil and joys of youth. I realise of course that one needs to go through the follies of exuberant youth to fully appreciate the consequences that follow the actions. Having said that I hope this letter will serve as means to aid you on this difficult journey, making your road as smooth as possible.
Shazaad I suppose I must first tell you that friends are like water, they will slip through your fingers, meaning they come and go. This is a pivotal fact you must accept as with it comes most of the disappointments of youth. I am in no way suggesting that you neglect this vital part of life, but rather trying to tell you that you should place only the necessary emphasis on the subject of friends. Remember that all people will look out first and foremost for themselves, and so should you. This may seem selfish, but it is human nature and you will fare well to remember this.
Friends have amazing powers of persuasion, parents only wish they could have half the influence. Know your real friends, and sift out the rubbish early. Yes, you will experiment with all sorts of vices, but know that experimentation and dependence is a very thin line, so exercise caution. Trust in yourself, only you know your true limits and stick to your principles.
Sex, is a beautiful act between two people. Let no one tell you otherwise. Your body is your greatest asset, enjoy it. Do not abuse it! Let sex become something you relish, rather than something wasted and tarnished. You understand fully what I am saying in this regard so there is little need for elaboration.
Lastly Shazaad, put your faith in your parents. If you feel lonely and depressed or that the world is becoming too much, close your eyes and think of them, and you will cross all hurdles and victory will be yours.
Sincerely
you
Friday, September 26, 2008
Letter to my younger self
Dear innocent young friend,
It’s been a long and winding road up and until now and it’s important to be prepared for the things that are yet to come. You are now approaching university and the life of a Rhodent. In this approach you also have to start preparing yourself for the challenges that lie ahead in first year at Rhodes University.
For the most of your life you’ve enjoyed parties and never thought about juggling between school and drunkenness. But in first year, you are face to face with the alcohol monster influencing your expected academic marks for the year. As I have learned this year, it is easy to forget why you’re at Rhodes. The Rat and the Union becomes your fear as you can not control the sudden urge to go socialise every weekend. But you have to keep your self-control and know when to stop. Don’t become an alcoholic and a drunk just because that’s what Rhodents are apparently known for. You are greater than that. Learn how to balance your social life and your academic work. Guilt will run your life if you fail tests just because you decided to go out and drink instead of studying. Don’t waste your parents’ money, Rhodes is too expensive for that. Remember the day you saw your matric results and realised you’re going to Rhodes? You’re on top of the world the day you see your name in the newspaper and a sigh of relief comes bursting out. That can happen again with the day you graduate from Rhodes, as long as you keep your social and academic life balanced.
Work hard everyday, especially with tests, assignments, essays and exams… but also reward yourself with a reasonable quantity to maintain a healthy, balanced life as a first year. Remember, everyday counts!
Your survival adviser in spirit,
Ettione
It’s been a long and winding road up and until now and it’s important to be prepared for the things that are yet to come. You are now approaching university and the life of a Rhodent. In this approach you also have to start preparing yourself for the challenges that lie ahead in first year at Rhodes University.
For the most of your life you’ve enjoyed parties and never thought about juggling between school and drunkenness. But in first year, you are face to face with the alcohol monster influencing your expected academic marks for the year. As I have learned this year, it is easy to forget why you’re at Rhodes. The Rat and the Union becomes your fear as you can not control the sudden urge to go socialise every weekend. But you have to keep your self-control and know when to stop. Don’t become an alcoholic and a drunk just because that’s what Rhodents are apparently known for. You are greater than that. Learn how to balance your social life and your academic work. Guilt will run your life if you fail tests just because you decided to go out and drink instead of studying. Don’t waste your parents’ money, Rhodes is too expensive for that. Remember the day you saw your matric results and realised you’re going to Rhodes? You’re on top of the world the day you see your name in the newspaper and a sigh of relief comes bursting out. That can happen again with the day you graduate from Rhodes, as long as you keep your social and academic life balanced.
Work hard everyday, especially with tests, assignments, essays and exams… but also reward yourself with a reasonable quantity to maintain a healthy, balanced life as a first year. Remember, everyday counts!
Your survival adviser in spirit,
Ettione
letter to self
Dear younger me
It’s been a long time. I trust you are well and that all is going fine in your preparation to come to Rhodes University. I especially hope that you are not only hearing dad but that you are listening to his advice about varsity life.
Remember when dad was talking to us about the dangers posed by varsity life and I shrugged his words saying how different could it be from the boarding school we grew up in? Well believe me when I tell you it’s an experience I did not anticipate.
You have always been the best because of your ability to surpass the rest. You have always been an individual, not a voice within a choir. But that is not what you did when you were met with different predicaments. You have always been able to say no when confronted with situations that conflicted with your values but that’s not what you did when Sean offered you your first ‘joint’, a taste of freedom or when she said “its ok, we don’t have to use a condom”. You divorced me and pushed me in a deep dark corner of your soul, only to cohabitate with this new persona who shoves drugs up his skin, fumes his lungs with dagga and within floods himself with alcohol and dances to the drums of lust
This is what my conscience says to me, resonates in my mind every day. It echoes so much I feel I am loosing my sanity’s grip. This is what has become of me and I hope that you are grounded enough to say no, to be who you are and not be taken by the hype. I am soiled and I pray that is not your reality forecast.
Lots of love.
Older you
It’s been a long time. I trust you are well and that all is going fine in your preparation to come to Rhodes University. I especially hope that you are not only hearing dad but that you are listening to his advice about varsity life.
Remember when dad was talking to us about the dangers posed by varsity life and I shrugged his words saying how different could it be from the boarding school we grew up in? Well believe me when I tell you it’s an experience I did not anticipate.
You have always been the best because of your ability to surpass the rest. You have always been an individual, not a voice within a choir. But that is not what you did when you were met with different predicaments. You have always been able to say no when confronted with situations that conflicted with your values but that’s not what you did when Sean offered you your first ‘joint’, a taste of freedom or when she said “its ok, we don’t have to use a condom”. You divorced me and pushed me in a deep dark corner of your soul, only to cohabitate with this new persona who shoves drugs up his skin, fumes his lungs with dagga and within floods himself with alcohol and dances to the drums of lust
This is what my conscience says to me, resonates in my mind every day. It echoes so much I feel I am loosing my sanity’s grip. This is what has become of me and I hope that you are grounded enough to say no, to be who you are and not be taken by the hype. I am soiled and I pray that is not your reality forecast.
Lots of love.
Older you
Letter to Me
Dearest Me,
To quote the words of that dearest philosopher Jagger; “You can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you’ll get what you need.” A Ferrari F430, a beach house in the Maldives and Robbie Williams are found on the great list of things you “want”, but what you “need,” will only become apparent as time passes.
At the start of the year you’ll carry on with your swimming training, go to bed before 11 and judge people on their shoes. This may appear to be what you want in life, but after a while you’ll realise that the crux of your university experience relies solely on the hidden “needs” happening around you. . What you once wanted will become null and void, and what you now need is simple and social. I have learnt this fundamental lesson at Rhodes, hell, it’s varsity. The goal posts are supposed to move.
True test of academic character doesn’t come from working diligently everyday. It really comes from completing your 2000 word English essay in an hour before deadline because you were too busy watching “Gossip Girl” the night before. This is pressure, and dealing with it is a skill.
Coming to varsity, your mind will be plagued with fantasies of meeting your soul mate within the first week. You’ll recognise him by the large white horse he’s riding and bouquet of red roses in his arms. Wrong again. The man of your dreams turns out to be the random guy from the pub, who held your hair back while you were vomiting your nine tequilas into the bushes. Yip, your liver will end up moving out and into an old age home.
No worries my dear self, your goals and expectations will all change, but you won’t.
Welcome to varsity buddy, it’s what you need. Trust me.
Love you too much!
Des
To quote the words of that dearest philosopher Jagger; “You can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you’ll get what you need.” A Ferrari F430, a beach house in the Maldives and Robbie Williams are found on the great list of things you “want”, but what you “need,” will only become apparent as time passes.
At the start of the year you’ll carry on with your swimming training, go to bed before 11 and judge people on their shoes. This may appear to be what you want in life, but after a while you’ll realise that the crux of your university experience relies solely on the hidden “needs” happening around you. . What you once wanted will become null and void, and what you now need is simple and social. I have learnt this fundamental lesson at Rhodes, hell, it’s varsity. The goal posts are supposed to move.
True test of academic character doesn’t come from working diligently everyday. It really comes from completing your 2000 word English essay in an hour before deadline because you were too busy watching “Gossip Girl” the night before. This is pressure, and dealing with it is a skill.
Coming to varsity, your mind will be plagued with fantasies of meeting your soul mate within the first week. You’ll recognise him by the large white horse he’s riding and bouquet of red roses in his arms. Wrong again. The man of your dreams turns out to be the random guy from the pub, who held your hair back while you were vomiting your nine tequilas into the bushes. Yip, your liver will end up moving out and into an old age home.
No worries my dear self, your goals and expectations will all change, but you won’t.
Welcome to varsity buddy, it’s what you need. Trust me.
Love you too much!
Des
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